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Newsom Asks Public to Help Design New California Coin, Instantly Regrets It

When he’s not making ignorantly silly commercials about access to abortion in Alabama, California Gov. Gavin Newsom’s favorite hobby is getting ratioed online. Seriously, I’m not sure there’s anyone less self-aware than Newsom, or anyone who’s more of a glutton for punishment.

So on Thursday Newsom was again roasted online when he announced that California is getting its own $1 coin to honor innovation in the state and asked the internet for submissions. He was already going to invite some choice responses from that simple invitation, then he made it worse by beginning his tweet with, “Calling all members of the Tortured Coin Designers Department,” a reference to Taylor Swift’s new album, “The Tortured Poets Department.”

Apparently, Newsom (or the intern who wrote the tweet) didn’t understand that the title is surmised to be a slam at Swift’s ex-boyfriend, British actor Joe Alwyn. Vogue reports that Alwyn “once stated in an interview that he had a texting group chat with fellow actors Paul Mescal and Andrew Scott called the ‘Tortured Man Club,’ which many fans instantly drew parallels to with Swift’s album name.”

The Golden State has a long history of positive innovation, but the only thing it’s innovating during Newsom’s tenure is new ways to waste every natural gift God can bestow upon a land and leave its citizens in poverty. Oh, and new methods by which the government can repress the civil rights of people.

And so many submissions centered on themes of homeless encampments, dumpster fires, and endless COVID masking rules.

Dr. Houman Hemmati invoked the $73 billion budget shortfall Newsom managed to create just a few years after a record surplus.

A few submissions were throwbacks, like this reminder of street artist Sabo’s depiction of Newsom as “Lizard King.”

Is posing like royalty an innovation?

A poo map for the streets of San Francisco is definitely a California innovation.

Assembly Republicans Press Secretary Jim Stanley formally submitted his ideas to Newsom, along with a letter that was published by our friends at the California Globe and which we’ve reprinted below.

Dear Gov. Newsom,

I would like to humbly submit the entries below for the California Innovation Coin Contest.

Under your bold leadership, California has developed a truly unrivaled method of incinerating money. While most people would think it impossible to spend $24 billion on homelessness only to see the problem grow rapidly, you have proved the naysayers wrong. Like a perpetual motion machine operating in reverse, you have seemingly broken the laws of physics to pour an unlimited amount of energy and resources into homelessness programs while producing no results.

To commemorate your momentous innovation, it would only be appropriate to select one of the designs below that recognize the condition of California’s streets, parks and sidewalks that have resulted from your leadership:

I look forward to seeing one of these designs in production.

Best regards,

Jim Stanley

Press Secretary

Assembly Republicans

P.S. I don’t think minting a bunch of $1 coins will put much of a dent in the $73 billion deficit you’ve presided over, but you certainly get points for creativity.

You know, on second thought, Newsom’s reference to Taylor Swift’s “The Tortured Poets Department” album is perfectly on-brand.

  • The whole thing is a complete distraction from the real important issues going on by tring to make the public feel good in contributing to the Nostalgia of California! Part of that “bread and circuses” that the Romans pulled off!

  • Walter Jones says:

    And he and his ilk stay in power. Go figure.

  • John sweet says:

    It will not be worth the cost when they’re made, likely around $.40 to a dollars actual worth or even less with the inflation rates!

  • Rob E says:

    I am curious…
    When the Chinese Delegation came to Californis, and Newsom cleaned the streets…

    What exactly did he do with all the poo?

    Is that (needles and all) what he’s minting the money out of?

    Just wondering, as Biden is printing money to fund Ukraine, Israel, Hamas, China, and more. The difference is Biden’s using his own poop.



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