Transgender killer Audrey Hale wrote about her ‘imaginary penis’ and how she would ‘kill’ to get puberty blockers in the weeks before her horrific attack on the Covenant School in Nashville last year.
The Tennessee Star obtained some four dozen pages of Hale’s writings that shed light on her female-to-male transition and why she shot and killed six people at the elementary school in March 2023.
Hale wrote about anger toward her parents, how she hated her conservative Christian upbringing, and how she had suffered because hormone blockers were not available when she was as a child.
The explosive writings, sometimes referred to as Hale’s ‘manifesto,’ have been a source of controversy, with many accusing officials of keeping them secret because they would hurt the trans community.
Now released, they help explain why the 28-year-old artist, who identified as a male named Aiden, shot her way into the Tennessee school, killing three adults and three nine-year-olds, before responding officers killed her.
Hale’s journal entries begin with the title ‘My Imaginary Penis’ and include a crude drawing, according to The Star.
‘My penis exists in my head. I swear to god I’m a male,’ Hale wrote in the papers, which were recovered by police.
She then wrote about her desire to have a penis so she could have sex with a woman, in her assumed identity as Aiden.
She wrote about how using that name on a job application for a delivery position led to issues with the company’s background check.
Hale also said that being raised as a girl was ‘torture.’
She worried that high school classmates would call her ‘dyke or a f*****’, she wrote.
That all changed when she learned about transgenderism in her early 20s.
‘I finally found the answer — that changing one’s gender is possible,’ wrote Hale.
But her mom was not on board, Hale wrote.
‘What she believes, how she grew up, conservatively, and that LGBTQ — especially transgender — was an enigma, nearly non-existent,’ Hale wrote.
She added: ‘I hate parental views; how my mom sees me as a daughter — and she’d not bear to want to lose that daughter because a son would be the death of Audrey.’
Hale used violent language when talking about the emergence of puberty blockers in the 2010s.
They were hailed at the time for helping transgender pre-teens safely delay the onset of puberty.
‘I’d kill to have those resources,’ wrote Hale.
‘2007 was the birth of puberty blockers and a newfound discovery for treatment of non-conforming transgender children.’
They came too late for Hale, who ‘was in the 6th grade, puberty already hit me,’ she wrote.
She also discussed fantasizing about having sex as a man by creating scenes with her stuffed animals.
‘I can pretend to be them [and] do the things boys do [and] experience my boy self as Tony,’ she wrote.
Tony was her ‘stuffed boy doll’ which she wrote ‘is like the boy I am in another form.’
She simulated intercourse between Tony and another soft toy over the course of hours, she wrote.
She even took photos of the scene and lost track of time.
‘God, I am such a pervert.’ Hale wrote, ‘I waste too much time in my fantasies.’
The entry was written just 16 days before Hale dressed in combat gear and launched her deadly raid on the Covenant School, armed with two assault-type guns and a handgun.
Hale also wrote politically charged comments about the rights of gun owners and trans people.
‘So now in America, it makes one a criminal to have a gun or, be transgender, or non-binary,’ she wrote Hale.
‘God, I hate those s***head politicians,’ she added.
The papers were recovered from Hale’s car, which she left outside the school, and were provided to the Star by a source close to the investigation.
After the shooting, Nashville’s Metropolitan Police Chief John Drake said his force had recovered the shooter’s manifesto, as well as hand-drawn maps in her car, and said they would eventually be made public.
But both city police and the FBI later said the material shouldn’t be released because it could hurt the investigations.
The Star and others have been part of a lawsuit seeking to compel the Metro Nashville Police Department (MNPD) and the FBI to release Hale’s writings.
The FBI reportedly advised the MNPD not to release them and other ‘legacy tokens’ in the wake of mass shootings.
The families of Hale’s victims subsequently stepped in and become part of a public records lawsuit against the city.
They claimed the killer’s estate includes the manifesto and that they therefore own the copyright and can determine whether or not to release it.
Hale’s manifesto has long been expected to reveal more detail about the killer’s motive.
Last November, three page of notes written by Hale ahead of the shooting were leaked.
The notes revealed Hale’s plan to target ‘white privileged cr***ers’ and ‘f****ts,’ before turning the gun on herself.
In an entry on the day of the attack, Hale wrote: ‘Today is the day. The day has finally come. I can’t believe it’s here. Don’t know how I was able to get this far but here I am.
‘I’m a little nervous but excited too, been excited for the past two weeks.’
She then declared: ‘I’m ready … I hope my victims aren’t.’
‘God let my wrath take over my anxiety. It might be 10 minutes tops. It might be 3-7. It’s gonna go quick. I hope I have a high death count. Ready to die,’ she wrote, before heading on her way toward Covenant.
She was ultimately shot dead at 10.25am, 14 minutes after she began shooting.
An autopsy revealed Hale’s clothing was covered in ‘handwritten words, drawings and numbers’.
It’s unclear what was written on her clothes.
The shooter also wrote a plastic orange anklet inscribed with the mysterious number ‘508407.’
Following that leak, seven Nashville police officers were suspended after a probe into how the notes became public.
Don’t let you’re children play an online game called Runescape. This company based out of the UK, but player based in the millions worldwide pandering to the LGBTQ individuals. Runescape staff will mute your accounts if you say anything in chat, that is negative towards the rainbow people. Now they’re hosting pride events.
How can a woman become a man if you can’t get a penis? Perhaps you could pluck one off one of the transvestite sports bitches.
yes these kinds of things are to me a defect in the genetic system of a human being be they male or female….something went awry when developing in the womb. none of us really understand it…not even the person with this condition….its a disorder in the brain….some people think its a choice …no its not a choice…it is a defect….until medical science really delves into it and finds what is going on ..nothing can be done and these people have to just live their life or lives out with this condition. now if there was a diagnosis and a fix…would male or female want to be fixed and go on in life being what they were born…..it would be difficult of they were married ….like homosexuals or lesbians….if there was a fix for either….and lets say they were married…how hard would that be to get the fix and find out you dont love that same sex person and you would start wanting to be with women if you were a homosexual man…same with the lesbians….I wonder what God is thinking and what He can do about it…
She did not need reassignment surgery to become a male, she needed a PSYCHIATRIST! I am wondering if her parents noticed anything? Was she angry all the time at them and at the school when she was little? Or did all of this happened as she got older? Mental illness can happen at any time. Something was off with her, and sadly she did not seek help or a friend did not see it happen. Once an adult, a parent is no longer in the picture. It is her life to do with what she wants. I think something hormonal was off, or she was chemically off balance, and it might have been diagnosed if she went for help when all these things started to enter her mind. With recent talk about all this insane transgender thinking and getting parts cut off or put on to become any gender has a certain part of society influenced by it. The ones that are very vulnerable to suggestions, thinking that it would solve all their issues. Which it does not. It is a mental issue that needs medical help, not giving into the mental illness that these insane Drs are doing. That the insane part of society is telling them to do. WE need to stop the insane part of teaching children that their sex is wrong is creating all these mental illnesses. It needs to stop! This is WOKE, and it is killing the children and innocent people. ALWAYS, my deepest sympathy is with the victims and families.